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A good personality can absolutely level someone up “by 4 points” (I hate the 10 point scale shit but w/e).
The issue with it is that you have to have to be extroverted, gregarious, and personable as a baseline, not just a “good and nice person” if you want to redeem those points. Never going to happen for me, and I would guess that 90% of this site is “introvert nerds” who will need to rely on conventional attractiveness for the most part.
It’s still important to be “good, caring, and nice” and all that since you’ll start losing attractiveness really quick without those things. They may even be a single bonus “point” in there, but social skills are much more powerful.
Maybe I’m just built different, but that’s not how it works at all for me. It’s not appearance, it’s my perception of who they are that determines how attracted I am to someone. Appearance often determines how I perceive someone, especially if I don’t know much about them, but in those cases additional information can very quickly change things. And when appearance is enough for my brain to know if I’m interested or not, it’s doesn’t seem to line up with what is considered traditionally attractive at all.
Like often I can’t tell if I’m attracted to someone from just a picture. I have to see a video or see them in person, I need more context. Habits and mannerisms are a huge part of what makes someone immediately attractive to me. And if someone displays certain personality traits I will immediately lose all interest and be unable to think of them as attractive ever again.
I’ve spoken to many people online and a few in person who have similar experiences, but I don’t know how common that is exactly.
