May I politely suggest a reputable brand of pepper spray like Sabre Red or POM, it works at a decent range, and is more reliably effective than tasers. Spray across the eyes then run away.

I’m not saying they’re exactly the same, I used that as an example to illustrate my point that it’s not cool to disregard people’s fears just because they don’t meet your personal criteria for a “justifiable” fear. It’s not relevant whether you think a fear is justified or not. The need for structural solutions doesn’t absolve us of the responsibility to attempt to do right by the people around us, and based on conversations with the women in my life and lots of comments in this thread, a whole, whole lot of the people around us share this fear. No one’s asking you to do a Monty Python sketch, just to take your impact on another person into account when moving around the world. I don’t think it’s a big ask, honestly

This actually solved the problem for me. I used to give a shit about the feelings of people, even when I hadn’t directly caused those emotions. But then I realized that their emotions are just incorrect and not my fault. In fact, my own feelings of discomfort with the situation are their fault. If only these people would understand that the solution to their silly emotions are systemic

I’m not waving a spider in your face by walking down the street minding my own business, jesus christ. Anyway the justifiable fear is that of harassment, not assault (which mostly victimizes men). We should be looking for structural solutions to make women more comfortable on transit, not asking men to do a Ministry of Silly Walks skit every time they see a woman on their way back from work. Not only are such piecemeal solutions unreliable for making an individual woman less afraid, they don’t at all address the general fear. My silly walk won’t make you less afraid of the next guy, or make him less likely to say creepy things to you.

:reddit-logo: level comment. tell us about how men should go their own way next.