Just because a fear doesn’t map onto the real world with 100% accuracy doesn’t mean we shouldn’t try to avoid making the people holding those fears uncomfortable (especially considering that, rare as it is, assaults on strangers do happen at least occasionally). I know the average spider poses absolutely no threat to me but if someone starts waving one in my face and telling me “actually you’re wrong to be afraid of this,” I’m throwing hands.
Maybe you could stop talking about something outside of your experience like you know it in and out. Walking around as a woman can be terrifying. Almost every woman I know has stories about being followed home or harassed. SA is under reported by a mile. All my friends have tasers.
You are literally dismissing the experience of every woman I’ve ever met. Honestly touch grass, which in your case probably means calling your mom or your sister or some woman in your life. Or read a fucking book idk. cishet men and thinking they know enough to comment on every damn thing, the nerve.
May I politely suggest a reputable brand of pepper spray like Sabre Red or POM, it works at a decent range, and is more reliably effective than tasers. Spray across the eyes then run away.
I’m not waving a spider in your face by walking down the street minding my own business, jesus christ. Anyway the justifiable fear is that of harassment, not assault (which mostly victimizes men). We should be looking for structural solutions to make women more comfortable on transit, not asking men to do a Ministry of Silly Walks skit every time they see a woman on their way back from work. Not only are such piecemeal solutions unreliable for making an individual woman less afraid, they don’t at all address the general fear. My silly walk won’t make you less afraid of the next guy, or make him less likely to say creepy things to you.
I’m not saying they’re exactly the same, I used that as an example to illustrate my point that it’s not cool to disregard people’s fears just because they don’t meet your personal criteria for a “justifiable” fear. It’s not relevant whether you think a fear is justified or not. The need for structural solutions doesn’t absolve us of the responsibility to attempt to do right by the people around us, and based on conversations with the women in my life and lots of comments in this thread, a whole, whole lot of the people around us share this fear. No one’s asking you to do a Monty Python sketch, just to take your impact on another person into account when moving around the world. I don’t think it’s a big ask, honestly
This actually solved the problem for me. I used to give a shit about the feelings of people, even when I hadn’t directly caused those emotions. But then I realized that their emotions are just incorrect and not my fault. In fact, my own feelings of discomfort with the situation are their fault. If only these people would understand that the solution to their silly emotions are systemic
I’m not waving a spider in your face by walking down the street minding my own business, jesus christ. Anyway the justifiable fear is that of harassment, not assault (which mostly victimizes men). We should be looking for structural solutions to make women more comfortable on transit, not asking men to do a Ministry of Silly Walks skit every time they see a woman on their way back from work. Not only are such piecemeal solutions unreliable for making an individual woman less afraid, they don’t at all address the general fear. My silly walk won’t make you less afraid of the next guy, or make him less likely to say creepy things to you.
:reddit-logo: level comment. tell us about how men should go their own way next.
Patriarchy affects both men and women, so until the systemic issues are addressed, fixating on whether a guy should cross the street or walk faster or talk loudly on the phone is some idealistic, non-materialist shit.
“Materialism is when you make women uncomfortable at night”
I love when some dude stumbles in here with the most absolutely dogshit tier take.
I have never had trouble hearing people walk behind me.
The social causes of this fear from women are beyond my control. Our society focuses on stranger danger to excuse rapist relatives, coworkers, dates, etc. This is transmitted by true crime shows, police procedurals, and just normal media where strangers assault women for plot reasons.
Yeah, as funny as it is to watch you make out with a strawman umm… what the fuck?
cringe comments like this show a lack of empathy and no curiosity to learn from others. women deal with harassment every day in public and also from people we know.
“True crime shows are why women are freaked out by my fedora tipping” is a fresh brainworm I haven’t seen before lol
