Just because a fear doesn’t map onto the real world with 100% accuracy doesn’t mean we shouldn’t try to avoid making the people holding those fears uncomfortable (especially considering that, rare as it is, assaults on strangers do happen at least occasionally). I know the average spider poses absolutely no threat to me but if someone starts waving one in my face and telling me “actually you’re wrong to be afraid of this,” I’m throwing hands.
Maybe you could stop talking about something outside of your experience like you know it in and out. Walking around as a woman can be terrifying. Almost every woman I know has stories about being followed home or harassed. SA is under reported by a mile. All my friends have tasers.
You are literally dismissing the experience of every woman I’ve ever met. Honestly touch grass, which in your case probably means calling your mom or your sister or some woman in your life. Or read a fucking book idk. cishet men and thinking they know enough to comment on every damn thing, the nerve.
May I politely suggest a reputable brand of pepper spray like Sabre Red or POM, it works at a decent range, and is more reliably effective than tasers. Spray across the eyes then run away.
I have a concealed carry permit and own a handgun. Better than a taser or pepper spray.
Also not a replacement for people also adapting how they behave in public, but I think we agree on that.
Thats a great reccomendation! What about the wind though, id be afraid of spraying myself
I’m not waving a spider in your face by walking down the street minding my own business, jesus christ. Anyway the justifiable fear is that of harassment, not assault (which mostly victimizes men). We should be looking for structural solutions to make women more comfortable on transit, not asking men to do a Ministry of Silly Walks skit every time they see a woman on their way back from work. Not only are such piecemeal solutions unreliable for making an individual woman less afraid, they don’t at all address the general fear. My silly walk won’t make you less afraid of the next guy, or make him less likely to say creepy things to you.
I’m not waving a spider in your face by walking down the street minding my own business, jesus christ. Anyway the justifiable fear is that of harassment, not assault (which mostly victimizes men). We should be looking for structural solutions to make women more comfortable on transit, not asking men to do a Ministry of Silly Walks skit every time they see a woman on their way back from work. Not only are such piecemeal solutions unreliable for making an individual woman less afraid, they don’t at all address the general fear. My silly walk won’t make you less afraid of the next guy, or make him less likely to say creepy things to you.
:reddit-logo: level comment. tell us about how men should go their own way next.
This actually solved the problem for me. I used to give a shit about the feelings of people, even when I hadn’t directly caused those emotions. But then I realized that their emotions are just incorrect and not my fault. In fact, my own feelings of discomfort with the situation are their fault. If only these people would understand that the solution to their silly emotions are systemic
This is top tier sarcasm and also you’re replying to a dude who thinks that podcasts are the reason women are afraid to walk home at night lol
I’m not saying they’re exactly the same, I used that as an example to illustrate my point that it’s not cool to disregard people’s fears just because they don’t meet your personal criteria for a “justifiable” fear. It’s not relevant whether you think a fear is justified or not. The need for structural solutions doesn’t absolve us of the responsibility to attempt to do right by the people around us, and based on conversations with the women in my life and lots of comments in this thread, a whole, whole lot of the people around us share this fear. No one’s asking you to do a Monty Python sketch, just to take your impact on another person into account when moving around the world. I don’t think it’s a big ask, honestly
