My parents basically neglected me my whole childhood and only interacted with me through screaming. I talk to them about once a year now, never visit, although maybe I should because they have become wacky in various funny ways.

I’ve tried talking to them about how they abused me, how they’d scream and belittle me. For a while my dad’s nickname for me was dumbass. They’d call me worthless too. I’ve brought this up and the response is they don’t remember any of it. They only remember the good times when I was like 4 years old and finger painting. They still talk to me like I’m 4 years old.

Maybe they were stressed from work or were disappointed in how I turned out, but yeah, I probably won’t ever get any resolution. They plainly do not remember abusing me. My formative memories for them were just nights they were tired from work and wanted to be left alone. They did work a lot, I remember that. My mother sometimes wouldn’t get home until after 9pm. Sometimes my father would be off on work trips for months at a time. Unremarkable for them, for me it was my most distinct memories.

if any of y’all have kids, please be as supportive as possible. You may not think much of taking an annoyed tone with your kid one night, or raising your voice on a rare occasion. You’re not gonna remember those specific incidents in 10 years, but your kids will remember every second of it.