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Haha yeah :yea: this hits home as a millennial too. It’s turned into “Why do you never visit/ call us?”
family constantly makes fun of me and everyone not present at get-togethers
Why don’t you come over more often?
I never understood the desire to gossip about people unless it’s about complete strangers who will never appear again.
Everyone in my family is constantly engaged in gossip that’s often slanderous about other family members. “Why would anyone date [cousin]? She’s fat! He’s probably trying to get a citizenship.” Then they’ll turn around and smile and pretend to be friendly during parties. It’s disgusting.
I have a cousin who I don’t like, but I don’t talk about it with anybody. He’s changed his appearance drastically and my brother one day just starts talking to me while I’m trying to study. “Hey you talked to [cousin] lately? He’s fat huh?” I reply with “heh, yeah” and go back to studying. Then he keeps going on about how he’s fat or weird looking. I guess this is their idea of bonding lol.
All in all, i don’t ask them about their lives or tell them anything about mine unless they keep asking. And even then I’ll keep information about my life to a minimum. Several times I’ve overheard them talking shit about me because I’m quietly sitting in the other room and they think I’m somewhere else lol. Then when they realize I was there the whole time they’ll just try to laugh it off and say something like “oh we’re so bad! We keep talking bad about you!”
Mine consistently do racist, transphobic and sexist shit specificly to “trigger” me, get mad when I politely tell them to stop or gentley make fun of them for it, blame me for ruining their fun, and then wonder why I never want to hang out.
Like mother fucker don’t dish out what you can’t handle lmao.
My parents basically neglected me my whole childhood and only interacted with me through screaming. I talk to them about once a year now, never visit, although maybe I should because they have become wacky in various funny ways.
I’ve tried talking to them about how they abused me, how they’d scream and belittle me. For a while my dad’s nickname for me was dumbass. They’d call me worthless too. I’ve brought this up and the response is they don’t remember any of it. They only remember the good times when I was like 4 years old and finger painting. They still talk to me like I’m 4 years old.
Maybe they were stressed from work or were disappointed in how I turned out, but yeah, I probably won’t ever get any resolution. They plainly do not remember abusing me. My formative memories for them were just nights they were tired from work and wanted to be left alone. They did work a lot, I remember that. My mother sometimes wouldn’t get home until after 9pm. Sometimes my father would be off on work trips for months at a time. Unremarkable for them, for me it was my most distinct memories.
if any of y’all have kids, please be as supportive as possible. You may not think much of taking an annoyed tone with your kid one night, or raising your voice on a rare occasion. You’re not gonna remember those specific incidents in 10 years, but your kids will remember every second of it.
Yeah, my mom got mad once and screamed “what is wrong with you” and I remember it 15+ years later. Far from the only time I was yelled at, but that one cut deep.
Reading The Will to Change rn and it’s been a real eye-opener on this shit not just being my imagination for my entire life. People really do not want to hear about your emotions if you’re a man or an adolescent boy.
It comes up very consistently when people ask some variation of “men why don’t you talk about your feelings” or “men what do you wish people knew?” On reddit.
Somewhere in the top 5-10 comments will be a couple that say “we don’t have anyone to talk to about our emotional life and even people who say they want men to open up are often totally dismissive or indifferent or even hostile if you try. And after trying and being rejected enough times you give up.”
I got curious and looked it up while listening to music on shuffle. While I read the preface Bread and Roses came on lol
It came up in that /menby/ thread and I decided to read it and tbh it came at the perfect point in my personal development
Profound stuff, but obvious when you stop and think about it
Wait I thought boomers raised millennials?
Every generation comes of age in a particular set of material conditions, though.
I see a huge difference in material-condition-based outcomes and opinions from my friends that graduated college before, during, or immediately after the 2008 financial crisis. That’s three distinct cohorts in a span of like 5 years. The standard definition of “millenial” covers 15.
millennials are boomers now
serious answer: yea, gen Z was raised by gen X
millennials are boomers now
:kitty-cri: oh fuck no, does this mean I have to yell at people for wearing their pants too low?
For real though, it feels like the are two sub-generations of millennials and the younger ones are closer to zoomers.
Don’t forget to yell at the kid’s playing on your lawn
Unless you don’t have a lawn, then you can’t be a boomer
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I don’t tell my mom something because I know she’ll overreact
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She finds out, we argue for several hours. She’s upset that I didn’t tell her, I didn’t tell her because she’d get upset. Nothing much changes
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Spend the next day or two keeping our distance from each other
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Return to normal, only she keeps bringing up the subject in unhelpful ways and expressing concern over things I have given my answer about multiple times. This makes me even more reluctant to tell her about things
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Return to step 1
Shit’s exhausting. I like living with her well enough most of the time and it’s cheaper for both of us but every so often we go through this cycle and it makes me want to move out.
It was tough for me to fully process the fact that my mom isn’t capable of providing the emotional support I need. I love her but talking to her about how I feel is never productive, so instead I focus on trying my damnedest to be nice to her even when I feel like shit.
I’m not always successful.
EDIT: It’s not like she doesn’t try, and she is reading up on some books my older brother told her to read regarding our ADHD. She’s getting better. And she was never abusive or malicious, just… didn’t quite know how to handle me.
