They want to lose so badly
lol I don’t think you should have been so downvoted for this, this is the correct take even if it turned out not to be relevant in this specific case…
Look, if a black person doesn’t want to be the perpetually harassed ambassador of all black people in dealing with racist in-laws and neither does her husband, then fuck it, they can walk away if they want
If they have the patience to stay and educate and keep those ties, fine
There’s no ideal action here, and every interpersonal action doesn’t need to be “praxis”