it can be*

but it can also be a useful tool to facilitate good faith conversation among a group with diverse thought, aka a left unity website

Edit since I posted about this recently on a discussion post someone made on the subject:

Civility is really, like many things, all down to good and bad faith. Presenting civility while delivering bad faith arguments is not civility, but manipulation.

Civility is a tool used effectively only in a space with common ideals and a shared identity, because following the ‘rules’ of civility are a social gesture towards your own good faith, by following the strictures, informal or no, of a community

When it is used in unsafe, unwelcoming, or hostile spaces, civility is at best a shield against bad faith criticism, but more often a ball and chain used to weigh down minority groups, to be able to brush them aside for being uncivil for merely bringing up the way in which they’re treated, as seen in the treatment of trans individuals on many places on the internet, as well as neurodiverse people

It is a tool that must be used and appraised carefuly, because it’s not just whether or not someone is acting civilly, but if they’re doing so in good faith

Ah ok I promise it isn’t a grift

I mean even doing that would be an improvement over what actually happened