It makes me so mad/sad that this is the modern reality for relationships. At the same time my self esteem is skyrocketing because of all the likes like a casino with bright lights and big numbers but the whole thing feels cheapened. I know there’s more valid reasons to this besides the fact that idk how to text matches but I’m blanking
On one hand: Dating apps level the field a little bit, I truly don’t know how you’re supposed to meet people other ways. Bars? Kind of impossible to talk to anyone at. Concerts? Cool but tbh I’ve had horrible luck actually meeting anyone there. I guess Im kind of reserved and not that hot, which doesn’t help, but its nice to be able to start conversations with people. Also its not like the modern concept of romance is very old, kind of a new concept in general.
On the other hand, total commodification. You lonely?? Buy boosts! Buy roses! Get attention! I hate that part of it too.
Generally speaking, my dating life was bound up with my friends and my work.
Going to a bar and just hitting on people is terrible for a whole bunch of reasons. But when you have mutual friends and you meet in a social atmosphere and you start to hang out more because you like one another… That’s good and healthy and perfectly normal.
Tinder gets around the need to have a social life populated with horny single people. And that’s good. But it also enables that social alienation, which is less good.
The further gamification of dating (particularly the P2W aspect) is nightmarishly cynical.
But if you don’t like it, there are a thousand clone-alternatives for hooking up. They just aren’t anything that’ll get you past the natural isolation of a modem capitalist lifestyle.
I think hobby clubs are basically the only non work or internet ways to reliably meet people as an adult outside of your current circle. This goes for friends or dating. I’ve met a few good friends this way and would encourage it.
I’ve met friends sure, but hobbies are playing music and rock climbing, both of which are skewing male. Music is tough, because theres girls there, but they will just rightfully assume you’re a creep, since almost every guy in music seems to be? Sorry now Im just bitching about my social skill 🙅♂️
