If you thought you were a true ally, maybe it’s time for some introspection.
if they’re frustrated or discouraged and they don’t phrase those things in the most comfortable way for the group hurting them to read, it’s theyre fault.
If it gets as adversarial as “you’re at fault here,” yeah, that’s a shitty way of approaching comments like this. People should never be blamed for talking about their struggles. But an approach of “I think this would communicate the exact same point in a way that will get more people on our side, so we can address those struggles” seems pretty useful, as getting a bunch more people on our side is necessary to make the biggest improvements in the lives of trans people.
If it’s “let’s not talk about it because reasons,” that’s definitely bullshit. James Baldwin nailed this point 40 years ago with his “How much time do you want for your progress?” remarks. We should not be sidelining the interests of our trans comrades, especially when just speaking about the issue can help create a less bigoted environment.
But if it’s “let’s talk about it, and here’s how I think we can talk about it such that we achieve meaningful results as soon as possible?” That sounds like a conversation sincerely interested in moving things in the right direction.
