Similarly:
Tech enthusiasts: My entire house is smart.
Tech workers: The only piece of technology in my house is a printer and I keep a gun next to it so I can shoot it if it makes a noise I don’t recognize.
if you are buying a wifi-enabled smoke alarm you have never worked on software for a tech company
Only perverts have wifi-enabled bullshit, they like it when they are arbitrary denied things by an inanimate object.
You want coffee, fuck you, coffee maker needs an update.
You want to take a shower, not today, go roll around in a puddle like a dog, shower head can’t connect to wifi.
You want to go inside your own house, nope, you sleep on the lawn now, but the wifi enabled door will let random strangers in becuase of poor security, and all you can do is watch.
Open source mesh network wifi switch gang. I can control the speed of my fan without getting up like the lazy bitch I am
Is it an intranet? Cause I really want to set something like that up but most of the IOT devices require actual internet connection as far as I can tell.
Its a separate mesh network that is on its own frequency so it doesn’t interfere with wifi. Is directly hooked into a router so we can use our phones to fuck with it. Idk why you’d want smart anything outside of lights and fans. Maybe something that pings your phone when the drier goes off or something
I don’t know shit about technology but I’ve woken up in a cold sweat dreaming about printer noises. In a kitchen there’s an inverse relationship between the number of “EEEEEE URRR” noises the printer makes and my will to live
If something wants to connect to the internet it better have a damn good reason. Almost all iot things do not. My lightbulbs do not need to be able to DDOS at the behest of a botnet
