Agent Penis Kanter Freedom

#WhereIsAgentPenis

After the release of a damning article detailing the sexual satisfaction of women in East Germany, the CIA established a task force. Their job? Transform an unsuspecting agent into a perfect vessel of communist sexuality via exposure to concentrated doses of Communism with East German Characteristics. Through this transformation, the CIA sought greater understanding.

The experiment went horribly awry - dozens of divorces were filed and many beach homes were lost. Ultimately, the subject was exiled to the “Mormon Wing” of CIA headquarters and the task force was scrapped.

Despite these efforts to suppress the startling results of the experiment, news of a devastatingly erudite communist-sex-liberator reached all ears within the privatized intelligence community. One woman, a humble data analyst from Dark Moss Contractors, made it her mission to unleash the devastating power of communist sexuality.

This is her story.

I want to believe

If hexbear raises just $380k, I will go to the CIA headquarters and ask for Agent Penis. We can do this. That’s only $22 per person and I’ve already put my $22 in.