27 points
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Anonymous sources close to the kremlin say that Putin invaded Ukraine in order to strengthen the power of the Havana Syndrome. “The president told us that the Ukrainians are hiding some sort of artifact in Chernobyl,” said one intelligence official. “Apparently it will grant the user unimaginable powers.” The official also added that Putin is specifically interested in “the zone,” but he did not say why.

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15 points

Putin is going to weaponise the elephant’s foot

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15 points

:meow-knit: oh shi oh fuc

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8 points

i the before times, wars were decided with military might and strategy… now there is only The Elephant Foot Trebuchet

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other than making Eastern Europe and the populated parts of Russia uninhabitable for 20,000 years, what exactly would they do with it? :blob-no-thoughts:

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26 points

russia, famous for not having access to nuclear material

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A coworker of mine was saying something the other day like “Wars used to be fought for like honor or saving people. Now it’s just over feelings.” I tried saying most wars are in fact defensive or offensive strategies for land, resources, or water access. He shook his head and repeated, “It’s hurt feelings most of the time, since WW2”

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Participation trophies causing war smh my damn head.

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He also hates participation trophies! It’s surreal sometimes because he’s only like 20 years old.

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16 points

yugoslavia just needed some self-care time but there were too many “feelings” going around

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3 points

tragic sex accident leads to nasty breakup

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13 points

“It’s hurt feelings most of the time, since WW2”

Maybe not the most accurate, but it is a funny way to characterize domino theory.

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1 point

Is honor not a form of feelings?

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17 points
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poutine wants to launch a nuke into the marinara trench and blow up the hole planet

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16 points

Internet marketer, internationally known blogger, podcast producer, YouTube channel optimizer and social marketing expert

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“You’re an influencer? what do you influence?” you know, the thing!

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