Anonymous sources close to the kremlin say that Putin invaded Ukraine in order to strengthen the power of the Havana Syndrome. “The president told us that the Ukrainians are hiding some sort of artifact in Chernobyl,” said one intelligence official. “Apparently it will grant the user unimaginable powers.” The official also added that Putin is specifically interested in “the zone,” but he did not say why.
russia, famous for not having access to nuclear material
A coworker of mine was saying something the other day like “Wars used to be fought for like honor or saving people. Now it’s just over feelings.” I tried saying most wars are in fact defensive or offensive strategies for land, resources, or water access. He shook his head and repeated, “It’s hurt feelings most of the time, since WW2”
yugoslavia just needed some self-care time but there were too many “feelings” going around
poutine wants to launch a nuke into the marinara trench and blow up the hole planet
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