IDK this whole men on this site need advice thing has convinced me that people here really think this isn’t a safe place to ask questions about how to, IDK, be?. So ask them here I guess if you didn’t ask them in the other thread.
I’m drunk and going to sleep now, but I have the day off tomorrow and will sincerely commit to effort-posting responses if anyone has genuine questions they want some in depth advice to.
I will say I’m just a guy who thinks he has enough trips around the sun to have some insight to share but I am not an authority on anything, so anyone else please feel free to chime in
If you were a normal and fit man in a healthy and loving LTR with a secure job and a robust group of interesting friends, but you were also absolutely miserable, how would you approach the problem?
I get this way sometimes during the winter when I’m not getting enough sunlight and I just wait until it stops, but I think if it weren’t seasonal I’d probably (not saying it is this, but it’s my first thought) be concerned that it was a chemical thing and maybe see a psychiatrist?
Alternatively though, is this something you feel due to the political climate? If it’s due to the world seeming horrible outside of your personal life, maybe try to retreat into that personal life when it gets bad?
I hope someone more insightful can answer.
Take vitamin D supplements. I take one a day, it actually helps with my moods, especially in the winter.
Note: not a solution to depression. Just helps with wintertime low sunlight
Sun lamps are like $30 on amazon. I just bought one myself for my seasonal depression. It seems like it’s starting to have some noticeable effects after about a month of using it. Remember you need 10k lux minimum and to use it for at least 30 minutes each day
Why are you miserable? How “bad” is your misery? I would recommend doing a little journaling, each day taking time to “rate” your day out of ten and write a little justification about why (e.g had a panic attack while out and about, argument with partner, feeling shame about XYZ etc). This might help you identify any trends and will get you closer to the answer.
Something that’s made a difference for me is making a distinction between activities that make me feel good/happy and activities that increase mastery of a skill (hopefully that also makes you feel good/happy). Usually when I’m down I try to fill my time with the former in the hopes that I’ll feel better but as anyone with clinical depression can tell you sometimes the good things just don’t feel good. Since I’ve drawn the distinction and started putting more effort into hobbies that ‘better’ me as a person over time I tend to feel better during those hollow down times because I still have the feeling of progression that gives fulfillment.
One of my favorite things to do is get stoned as shit and watch 80s creature features. Which is great but eventually you realize you’ve just spent a chunk of your life on the couch watching television. I still do that too but now I make time to work on my garden and go to the gym as well. But also definitely see a psych for some of those preemo meds while you’re at it too. The happy pills don’t hurt (except when they absolutely do)
I guess I’d ask when do you feel sad? Like if you’re having a conversation with your partner, do you feel sad? Do you feel sad when you’re doing whatever activity makes you fit? Do you feel sad when hanging out with your friends? Do you feel sad when you’re connecting with your comrades and doing praxis in your local org? Do you feel sad at work?
Or do you feel sad always? Or just in the interstitial moments between activities? Or just when you’re doomscrolling?
If you feel sad always, I’d probably try to find a good mental health professional that fit my vibe. If I couldn’t afford it I would utilize the community mental health supports that are available. But yeah, mental health support is above my pay grade.
what do i do if The Wife™ keeps bugging me to take out the trash but I’m too busy watching The Big Game with The Boys?
I think if you’ve reached this stage of your relationship the only reasonable option is to engage in revolutionary violence against the state :shrug-outta-hecks:
Revolutionary violence against the state counts as taking out the trash so that would only mean that The Wife™ would win.
How much money did your parents make growing up?
Ya I wanted to say something similar. Although my parents are working class, I benefitted heavily by being born 40+ years ago, white, male, and with a stable-ish family. I don’t want to shit on the OP, but possibly comrades here struggle and I don’t want anyone to feel like they’re at fault.
This is a good question - I remember reading a tweet once where someone said every public figure’s parental wealth should be listed after their name or something.
My parents had no generational wealth, no college degrees. My dad left when I was pretty young. My mother was a working single mother who was an administrative assistant in a SOE, and raised us on that salary. To the best of my understanding my father did pretty well for himself but that wealth has never really been connected with my life - as I understand things he didn’t pay for child support, I had to take out loans to go to school and spent most of my adult life trying to get out from under that debt. I do probably stand to inherit something from him one day, but he’s pretty into his wealth it wouldn’t surprise me if he spends it all.
what is a lord of the rings secure job?
hi drunk and going to sleep now, I’m SaniFlush
