House: What kind of infectious disease causes pulminary embalismes, reduced lung capacity, high grade fevers, muscle fatigue, and doesn’t appear on any our tests.

Foreman: Any number of influenzas or lung infections. Why are we wasting our time, treat her symptoms, keep her in isolation, and wait for the disease to run it’s course.

Cameron: I agree, nothing presents this as out of the ordinary with these symptoms.

House: But there’s one new symptom. Complete loss of smell and taste.

COMMERCIAL BREAK

26 points

[EXTERIOR: Fort Detrick, Maryland. AFTERNOON.]

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25 points

Why are 20 soldiers across 3 branches exhibiting the same symptoms? And don’t say syphilis, we discovered that 400 years ago. And besides, don’t ask, don’t tell.

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16 points

“Stop using ivermectin as lube, it’s not helping your disease”

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14 points

I have a sudden flashback to watching Flight of the Phoenix

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21 points
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12 points

And there’s always an emergency tracheotomy.

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17 points

I wish there was an episode of The Shield where Vic Mackey went to rob the Armenian COVID Train

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13 points

God damnit Dutch! How many other errands do you got us running for the D.A.?

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