Like, it’s probably more noticeable that you don’t have any romantic or sexual relationships than it would be if you don’t have any true, close, platonic connections. Romantic and sexual relationships have things that are very obvious and for the most part, exclusive to them, such as kissing, making out, sex, etc. Platonic relationships that are true and close are not as visible, they’re more feelings on the inside (not to say that there’s none of those feelings involved with romantic and sexual relationships). If you look exclusively at the activities done with a platonic friendship, it’s not very different from an acquaintanceship, or an activity partner.
I’ve met people who claim they have friends, but they’re just coworkers they talk to a bit, guys they play games with, or guys they see at the sports bar a lot. Not people who actually support each other or any true connection. Now granted, there’s nothing wrong with having those acquaintanceships or activity partners, and it can be argued that they’re necessary for a fulfilling life, but they’re not the same as a true connection or friendship. If you’ve never had that or hadn’t had it in a while, it can be hard to tell what that feels like.
The only way to make these connections is through social skills, which a lot of people lack. They lack social skills, so they don’t make connections, platonic or romantic. Since romantic and sexual connections have more exclusive activities, it’s more easy to notice them than the lack of true friends. So I’m wondering if all this talk about the lack of romance and sex is really just poor social skills.
There’s a difference between social skills that get you friends and social skills that get you lovers.
I can only talk about my own problems, but I spent a huge amount of my teens and twenties on my computer. I did socialize, but only online. It made it very hard for me to connect with people out in meat-space unless they too were terminally online. My humour, my mannerisms, everything about me was hyper focussed on gaming and online culture. And this was back when facebook was only just becoming a thing and the web was less well understood by day-to-day people. I remember having near panic attacks when I had to speak to anyone who I considered to be “normal”, especially girls. As time went by I think I began to realise, or admit to myself, just how unbalanced my life was, and that I was clearly addicted to playing video games and smoking shit loads of weed. I made an effort to move away from that. Admittedly I moved towards spending loads of time down the pub, and developed a bit of a drinking problem for a while, but what I did learn was how to socialise and small-talk and open up to new experiences.
When I did eventually start having success with women, I couldn’t say what specifically I had learned, I just knew that by putting myself out there I had pushed myself in the right direction.
Im sorry op but we live in a society
:marx-joker:
This is just bootstrap mentality applied to Relationships
Bootstraps mentality is when you think self improvement is possible.
I hate to inform you, but if you want to organize and for capitalism to be dismantled, you need to have social skills. You can’t just pretend they don’t exist.
Like everyone said the problem with your statement is the “just” part
And also the wierd part where you imply that all social interaction from union organizing to getting laid is governed by a single social skills “stat” that you can just pump points into like its dnd
“When most poors talk about their food struggles, is the real problem just lack of money management?”
“When most women talk about their harassment struggles, is the real problem just lack of assertiveness?”
Infinite Jihad against the Demiurge.
Like, maybe partly? Definitely, it affects guys with poor “social skills” whatever that means more.
