CW: transphobia
Are any of you dating/partners with a lib? how do you handle it? the woman I’ve been seeing is a lib. The worst of it is that she doesn’t accept that personal pronouns are a thing, so definitely a bit of a transphob. I hope its just because she is just ignorant of the issues, but in other conservations we have she does some impressive level centrism and both-siding so I don’t know. “Slavery wasn’t bad because it was legal, everyone did it, nobody was saying it was bad at the time” etc.
We basically broke up last night, not directly because of these issues, but they are definitely a part of it. I want to be able to be completely mask off with my partner, but I also don’t want to have to get into an argument every time I use “they” in the singular. I have moments of doubt where I worry I’ve fallen into a weird online cult and am now do the “oh, you like (BLANK)? name their last 3 albums,” but with online leftist culture.
Since I do limited praxis, sometimes all of this feels theoretical. But when I open up /r/collapse or chapo.chat, I’d like to have a partner that would be able to see the world as I see it.
Otherwise we have a great time together and are able to have really good conversations. Even that we broke up last night was because she is great at communication and was able to draw this out of me. The conversation was something that I wanted to do, but I don’t know when I would have gotten around to it on my own.
More broadly, how sure are you that you found the person that you want to be with? Did you feel that you compromised/settled? I don’t really believe in romantic love, but maybe its just because I haven’t found it yet.
should I put an ironic closing line, to act cool?
Ah no. I would not date people who wilfully perpetuate evil. Very few people are truely evil, most jost dont care
yeah. I used to be a reactionary lib myself, so I feel the need to give people slack to de-program themselves, but at a certain point if they aren’t making the effort it becomes untenable
Thanks. Yeah, plenty of fish. Getting along isn’t the same as long term partnership
She has a weird mixed bag of ideas, but I think most of it is from being from europe, so more left than most libs as a starting point, but still just a lib that doesn’t want the world to change/believes it can’t
Roma and the slur about them came up recently, actually. Something along the lines of them choosing to be nomads/without land. Same with the Jews. Not enough of a history buff quickly/expertly debunk this, but strong “native people taught the white people to plant corn” vibes
I definitely don’t require my partner to agree with my politics. Especially because dating as a middle aged person like myself is already a shitshow. I’m picky enough in other areas (as I get older, I’m less willing to share space because I’ve got a very internalized ‘way things ought to be’, for example). Plus, I live in a rural area, and the dating pool is almost surely exactly what you think it is (putting “No Trumpers” in their profile is a bold thing here).
I do, however, want partners to share my ideals - ie, I had to break off a prospective relationship after a few dates because they expressed the old “I won’t give $ to the destitute because they’ll spend it on booze”.
Edit: (hit post too quickly) the pronouns thing would be a problem if we discussed it and she still continued to unapologetically misgender people. That’s just a matter of treating people with respect.
