I fucking hate dating/hook up apps. Writing a profile feels like I’m writing a resume, everytime I talk to someone it feels like a job interview. Everyone’s bullshitting 'cause we’ve been conditioned to treat our insecurities/flaws like the fucking plague.

Do people do reference checks via email these days? I could probably even register a cheap domain for a fake company and use that if I was gonna go that route.

Ironically this would get you permanently banned on reddit.

Given that you know each other already, I would be careful to not get your signals crossed, e.g. if you’re not explicit about your meet up being a “date,” your friend might not know that a one-on-one park hangout has a romantic undertone. I think I agree with ScreamoBMO. Being up front and honest is probably your best bet, but try to do it in a way that allows you to maintain your friendship if she doesn’t reciprocate your feelings.

In my experience this makes you an easy pass for employers. Officially, it’ll be something else on your resume that made you unsuitable because they can’t legally deny you employment on that basis but to them, it’s about how profitable you are and illnesses aren’t profitable.

Landlords are the same. I was on disability a few years ago and the amount of landlords who demanded that I disclose my illness/passed when I told them how I would be paying my rent was absurd. Legally that’s 100% illegal but basically impossible to actually prove or find someone who cares.

I don’t have moral qualms about lying to employers, I just feel like I’ll be bad at lying or mess up in some way and I’m not entirely sure I can find multiple people to lie for references.

I appreciate all the advice people have given me. I’ve read every post here even if I haven’t replied.

Among some of the other things people have suggested, I’m thinking of lying about building/troubleshooting PCs independently and being an event photographer. I think the latter would be the easiest to argue was no longer doable under covid and I have some knowledge of both things. I just don’t know if I need to create some sort of online presence for both of those or how I would provide references. Do ya’ll think those are good ideas?

I’m also thinking of making up a story about my grandmother being ill (she was actually quite ill) and looking after her, but maybe that’ll sound weird? Do younger people look after their grandparents? Maybe I should make it about my parents instead…

Then maybe I can pick a place I have “worked” that’s out of city/province or even in a different country - this one I’m going to need to do a bit of research on. Maybe a stupid question, but can employers look up your work history with a social insurance number? I know they can look up your criminal history and shit, don’t know if they’ll see my credit (it’s bad) or history with disability services, etc.

I also took longer to long to finish a 4 year program at college because I was in a disability program that let me do half the course load. Should I lie and condense this into two years?

Yeah, I was thinking of something like that… I fucking suck at lying though. How did you deal with references?

Most of the fast food places near me also clearly have fans pushing the smell of the food out their window, you can smell it from 20+ feet away. If you’ve had a long day, you’re tired and hungry and suddenly you smell something super tasty and there’s a nice, pleasant looking fast food restaurant that can satisfy that itch in a matter of minutes, it’s not hard to see how that can be super tempting to a lot of people.

wow DHS really thinks that shitlibs on twitter are anarchists