The Pope travels to New York City and evades his security detail. He’s sick of the Popemobile and wants an authentic NYC experience, so he hails a cab. The taxi driver is in awe, sez, “Holy Father, anything I can do for you, just name it.” The Pope says, “Well, you know, this isn’t something I’m usually able to do. Would it be . . . would it be okay if I drove your taxicab? It’s always been a dream of mine.” The driver is surprised, he knows his life isn’t much of a dream, but he can hardly say no. The pope gets behind the wheel and takes off.

And he really takes off. He’s running red lights and going 60 mph down sidewalks. It doesn’t take long before they’re pulled over. Officer O’Malley comes up to the driver’s window, does a double-take, and gets on the radio to headquarters.

“Hey, Captain, listen . . . I’ve pulled someone over for reckless driving, but, ah, it’s someone really important.”

“What, like on the City Council?”

“Way more important.”

“Is it the Mayor?”

“No, Captain, it’s . . .”

“A senator?”

“Captain, think bigger.”

“Don’t tell me you pulled over the President.”

“No, no, even more important.”

“Who’s more important than the President?”

“I don’t know, boss, but the fucking Pope is his driver.”