Inspired by this morbidly fascinating National Review article.

In keeping with the spirit of the original article, I reserve the right to clip single lines or portions of lines out of context and entirely ignore the rest of the song, the rest of the artist’s discography, and the artist’s stated beliefs. I’ll interpret any song you send, with the only stipulation being that it must have lyrics that I can find online.

Long Live Palestine (Lowkey)

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2 points

Makes no difference if you’re a Christian or if you’re a Jew

Indeed it doesn’t, because America was founded on Judeo-Christian values

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8 points

Fortunate Son - Credence Clearwater Revival

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10 points
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Some folks are born made to wave the flag

They’re red, white and blue

Speaks for itself

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3 points

It ain’t me

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it’s about what happens if you try to do communism

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5 points

The Proclaimers - “I’m Gonna Be (500 Miles)”

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4 points

When I’m working, yes I know I’m gonna be

I’m gonna be the man who’s working hard for you

Extols the virtue of families having a male breadwinner

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2 points
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Deleted by creator
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2 points

Don’t kill the rose

Before it could bloom

A clear and obvious anti-abortion metaphor

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