I made it do a rap battle of the era, I’ll report myself to the gulag:

(Verse 1: John Oliver)

I’ve done some digging and the evidence is clear

Alan Greenspan had ties to Epstein, that much is clear

They were members of the same exclusive clubs

And Greenspan even flew on Epstein’s plane, it’s time for him to come clean and fess up

(Chorus: John Oliver and Bari Weiss)

Alan Greenspan, what’s the deal?

Did you really have no part in Epstein’s wheel?

Alan Greenspan, tell us the truth

Did you have ties to that sleazy dude?

(Verse 2: Bari Weiss)

I understand your skepticism, but let’s not be hasty

Greenspan has always been a man of integrity, that’s a fact, see

He may have associated with Epstein, but that’s no crime

Let’s not jump to conclusions, let’s give him the benefit of the doubt this time

(Chorus: John Oliver and Bari Weiss)

Alan Greenspan, what’s the deal?

Did you really have no part in Epstein’s wheel?

Alan Greenspan, tell us the truth

Did you have ties to that sleazy dude?

(Verse 3: John Oliver)

I’m not saying he’s guilty of anything

But it’s clear that he was part of Epstein’s inner circle, that’s a fact, king

He can’t deny that he flew on Epstein’s plane

And now he’s trying to distance himself, it’s all just a game

(Chorus: John Oliver and Bari Weiss)

Alan Greenspan, what’s the deal?

Did you really have no part in Epstein’s wheel?

Alan Greenspan, tell us the truth

Did you have ties to that sleazy dude?

(Bridge: Bari Weiss)

Greenspan is a man of great renown

He’s been a leader in the field of economics, that’s no joke

Let’s not tarnish his legacy with baseless accusations

There may be some association, but that doesn’t mean he’s guilty of anything, only speculation

(Chorus: John Oliver and Bari Weiss)

Alan Greenspan, what’s the deal?

Did you really have no part in Epstein’s wheel?

Alan Greenspan, tell us the truth

Did you have ties to that sleazy dude?

Furiously feeding this into a pirated copy of Plogue Alter Ego in Marie Ork mode

:sicko-wholesome:

Spoken word jazz

It’s only rap if it comes from the __________ region of France, otherwise it’s just rhyming musical theater.

I had to blank out the name of the region for privacy concerns, not because I couldn’t think of a joke. The citizens of that unnamed region of France are entitled to some peace.