inb4 “if it’s legal it’s not a crime”

2 points

I’d go to Iowa and lie about butter.

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4 points

Transmitting radio without a license

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15 points
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Crime means breaking the law, correct?

No location is named, so I will assume this refers the laws of physics and reality.

I would:

  • expand time so that it lasts a near infinite duration, contained entirely within this day of no crime
  • transmute a bunch of the rocks in my apartment into gold
  • alter my DNA to include working wings like a bat, a prehensile tail like a monkey, gills like a salamander, enviromental adaptability like a chameleon that’s selective so I can hide these enhancements from others
  • one more enhancement related to a very specific part of the anatomy of a horse or blue whale, or whatever it is people want these days
  • remove all genetic defects of my body, like susceptability to cancer and addictions, grant it full immunity to diseases, put it into a perfect equilibrium with near instantaneous regeneration and longevity and thus allowing my life to last as long as I desire
  • create a star from nothing and collapse it in a way that stores all of its energy into a pocket sized battery with perfect functionality and adaptability that is nearly indestructable
  • hold hands with two chicks at the same time

It’s fun to dream of the impossible.

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3 points

I would steal a single nuclear icbm and take it to a pizza hut and just leave it there. Just seems like it would cause some interesting conversations.

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2 points

i imagine the engineering required to get an ICBM to a random pizza hut would be worth a conversation too

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Help myself to around €200,000 worth of now-free iPhones from the warehouse

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