it’s relatively easy for me to meet people online, but there’s only so much i can get out of virtual friendships anymore.
Im not sure how HB feels on the man, but Dale Carnegie’s “How to win friends” was a tremendous influence on me.
In short- ask people about themslves, show genuine interest, and listen to what they have to say. That’s really all there is to it!
Might get easier over the course of your life, or harder tbf. But yeah idk why its like that
I became, with practice and trial and error, somewhat extroverted before the pandemic. The pandemic really reversed a lot of that work.
I’m in south eastern VA if anybody wanna grab a beer or smoke one
The world is kinda ending so things are werid offline.
Plus by virtue of being thr kinda person that would post here you are the kind of extremely online person who simply has less in common with offline people.
Honestly, I gave up on making offline friends. I have no social skills (was homeschooled by abusive conservative Christian parents who purposefully kept me from making friends most of the time) and now as an adult I am learning how to actually interact with others for the first time and shocker! No one has time to put up with another adult who doesn’t understand boundaries, can’t carry on a conversation well, and just doesn’t understand any social cues. At least online I don’t have to deal with any of that. The internet can cover up (to an extent) that I suck at conversation, don’t understand boundaries, social cues, and have no social skills at all. So, honestly, the internet just makes it easier, it hides the flaws, so at least for me, that’s why it’s easier to meet people online (and yet I still only have two friends) and yet cannot hold down any offline relationships. Basically, to narrow it all down as a response to your question: the internet covers up flaws, flaws get exposed offline.
Honestly just you knowing those things about yourself I’m sure makes you more tolerable to be around than people with 0 self awareness. I was homeschooled too (although my parents were not abusive at all) and sometimes I still feel a little behind socially but am mostly “normal” now. Things like eye contact and small talk are still a little weird for me. I did start going to school for high school which helped. Idk how far out of school you are, but those social skills aren’t impossible to learn. Although I imagine it’s tougher outside of a school setting. Hope you are doing OK
I have a friend who sounds like they went through a much less extreme version or your past. I met them while at a card game event.
According to them, really structured semi-social events like that (card games, board games, chess, etc.) really helped them adjust because there was always a clear next “step” to take. If they ever clammed up, people would just assume they’re thinking about the game.
Also helps that there’s a high level of ambient weirdness at those events so people are more used to it.
