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Dating apps as a concept are debatable whether or not good. But as the score/algorithm based, headshot swiping, 15 dollar per week otherwise you basically can’t use it and it will actively fuck with your emotions to attempt to get you to pay them a decent chunk of change -in perpetuity- it exists as right now they’re fucking really dehumanizing
Enshittification is a term for this that seems to be really taking off. Cory Doctorow is the best techbro to leftist pipeline going atm.
Online dating can suck. Online dating is not representative of dating today.
I think social media makes it worse. Before the advent of online dating and mass adoption of social media, seeing someone that was very attractive, for lack of a better way of saying it, was rare. Nowadays people that straight up look unreal (and are probably using drugs to look like that, be it appetite suppressants or steroids) are just a click away and it’s really warped people’s perceptions and standards, especially in the online dating game, and especially when a majority of adults in the real world are overweight or obese. None of this was the case in the past.
Leads to a massive dissonance and disconnect between what people want and what they can realistically achieve, for both men and women. Both for themselves and their potential partners.
Maybe people in their early 20s or so but I think most people eventually figure out they’re not going to be dating a perfectly hot 10/10 with zero physical flaws.
Sure there are the general societal brainworms that tell you only skinny people are attractive and whatever but I think that always existed.
Do they really take hours to photoshop their TikToks though? Sure there are filters, but those don’t really make women slimmer or put muscles on men.
Sucks even harder for minorities who are targeted by sexual racism. There is some real dumpster fire discourse among diaspora East Asians about this, for example.
My coworkers tell me that they find Asian guys hot. That is, if you’re 6’2, have paper white skin, and look like a kpop idol
As degrading as that is, it’s actually an improvement from the previous mainstream stance of “Ewww, no.”
At least your coworkers are capable of acknowledging that Asian men can be tall and attractive instead of universally short scrawny nerds.
I always found the “Asian men are unnatractive/sexuless/whatever” thing utterly bizarre. How does normative racism like that even get started?
See, I’d see the silver lining if it was just other groups of people but in my experience Asian girls also tend to think they way too so it’s just :kaneki:
hardly qualifies as discourse, bunch of strivers uncritically regurgitating manosphere narratives and their parents’ reactionary politics
The manosphere dudes are at least half the problem, but their existence certainly doesn’t explain all those ridiculous articles from women trying to explain their fetish for mediocre white dudes as some sort of deep cultural awakening.
As for reactionary politics from parents, that’s also a huge problem but ironically it’s the manosphere dudes who tend to push back against that by advocating interracial dating.
the manosphere dudes are largely a product of the white fetishism that goes on in the asian female community, asian chicks post hart-celler really threw asian guys under the bus. someone on here a while back said this was a common sociological phenomenon for 1st/2nd generation immigrant women but i’m pretty sure the degree to which whiteness is fetishized in asian female communities remains an outlier, sociological phenomena notwithstanding.
the type of reactionary politics i was referring to mostly consists of standard american conservatism: rampant anti-blackness, bootstraps mentality, communists ruined our country, america was good to us, we wuz khanz/colonize the colonizer narratives, etc. as an aside, i’m really skeptical of the whole ‘asian manosphere does interracial dating’ thing, i just can’t see the massive insecurities they carry around being good for even a normal relationship, much less an interracial one.
You don’t think being emasculated and dehumanized for centuries has any affect on the perception of Asian men?
being emasculated and dehumanized only affects asian manosphere insofar as they remain incapable of assimilating into whiteness (and its corresponding sexual benefits/social status) as easily as their female counterparts
masculinity is just a number to them, they have no conception of what it is outside of a quantitative (and overwhelmingly western) context
I remember internet dating in the 2000’s had a stigma. It was funny when the people who laughed because I was doing it ended up marrying ppl they meet thru online dating.
I get that online dating is far from perfect. But the alternative to many is to date within their close friend circle. Comrades, tell me if I’m wrong, but having sex has always changed friendships and has often ruined friend groups. It’s like, you can never fuck and then go back to being just best buds without fucking.
Comrades, tell me if I’m wrong, but having sex has always changed friendships
Not necessarily. Friends can decide they want to fuck and then just keep on being friends, whether in an ongoing fwb situation or just as a sort of “that happened, probably won’t be doing it again” sort of way.
But yeah, of course in most cases it does.
