It makes me so mad/sad that this is the modern reality for relationships. At the same time my self esteem is skyrocketing because of all the likes like a casino with bright lights and big numbers but the whole thing feels cheapened. I know there’s more valid reasons to this besides the fact that idk how to text matches but I’m blanking
It’s even more disgusting if you realize how the algo works and it’s designed to make people desperate and keep them engaged and swiping.
Hi there. There are some sources on tinder. However, form an academic standpoint, tinder is just one app. Therefore, the research is done more on a broader level. There is not much research into tinder, but very much research about persuavive design and dopamine triggers in apps/games. I am actually researching this topic at a University. Here are some news sources: https://medium.com/thrive-global/how-technology-hijacks-peoples-minds-from-a-magician-and-google-s-design-ethicist-56d62ef5edf3 http://sitn.hms.harvard.edu/flash/2018/dopamine-smartphones-battle-time/ https://www.theguardian.com/technology/2017/oct/05/smartphone-addiction-silicon-valley-dystopia https://www.gamasutra.com/blogs/BenLewisEvans/20130827/198975/
If you want academic sources, I can post some, too.
Its important for us to understand, how all games and apps work nowadays. Facebook implemented the “pull to refresh” and randomized the time line because this way every refresh is a small dopamine trigger. There is a paper from the 90s (iirc) that introduced “persuasive design”, basically design to change your behaviour. This can be a good thing, for people with depression or adhd. But these designs are now being used in all online apps and games. Now, when your brain gets used to dopamine triggers with the press on a button, your receptors scream for dopamine. So you start checking you phone every 5 minutes. Nobody did that 20 years ago. This is especially true for kids and teenagers. Their brain still developes and we now know, that the brain builts it’s connections dependant on what it’s doing (neuroplasticity). So you basically program your brain for addiction.
I don’t have a source but IIRC the more people swipe right on you, the higher on the stack you get, and if people who are often swiped right by others swipe right on you this pushes you up even further. Also, if you swipe right a lot but people swipe left on you a lot you get pushed down in rankings. Basically it’s a cyclical process where people who get swipes and matches get set up to get even more meanwhile the more, well, lonely users get pushed aside
Can confirm, as a “more lonely” user I just stopped using the app. Like what are bald, bookish people even supposed to do in todays world? Seems it’s all about looks and sport.
https://youtu.be/_iLnZ4HCrfo not a deep source, but he talks about this.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=21CKkv4J8KA This is a great series on dopamin. It starts with Tinder. It is in german, therefore it doesn’t help with the discussion. But I thought you might enjoy it, if you don’t know it already.
Same. I really dislike dating apps, but it seems this is the only way dating and relationships are happening these days, and it feels so … inorganic, broken, idk. I dont want to pick my boyfriend from a fucking catalogue, he is not a product.
If it wasn’t for dating apps I have no fucking clue how I would find most of the wlw in my area. I get why straight people wouldn’t like them because you guys can just go out into the world and the people you meet are almost always the right orientation, but god I don’t know what I would do without them. Lesbian bars hardly exist anymore.
Beatnik we need chapo.date pls
On one hand: Dating apps level the field a little bit, I truly don’t know how you’re supposed to meet people other ways. Bars? Kind of impossible to talk to anyone at. Concerts? Cool but tbh I’ve had horrible luck actually meeting anyone there. I guess Im kind of reserved and not that hot, which doesn’t help, but its nice to be able to start conversations with people. Also its not like the modern concept of romance is very old, kind of a new concept in general.
On the other hand, total commodification. You lonely?? Buy boosts! Buy roses! Get attention! I hate that part of it too.
I think hobby clubs are basically the only non work or internet ways to reliably meet people as an adult outside of your current circle. This goes for friends or dating. I’ve met a few good friends this way and would encourage it.
I’ve met friends sure, but hobbies are playing music and rock climbing, both of which are skewing male. Music is tough, because theres girls there, but they will just rightfully assume you’re a creep, since almost every guy in music seems to be? Sorry now Im just bitching about my social skill 🙅♂️
Generally speaking, my dating life was bound up with my friends and my work.
Going to a bar and just hitting on people is terrible for a whole bunch of reasons. But when you have mutual friends and you meet in a social atmosphere and you start to hang out more because you like one another… That’s good and healthy and perfectly normal.
Tinder gets around the need to have a social life populated with horny single people. And that’s good. But it also enables that social alienation, which is less good.
The further gamification of dating (particularly the P2W aspect) is nightmarishly cynical.
But if you don’t like it, there are a thousand clone-alternatives for hooking up. They just aren’t anything that’ll get you past the natural isolation of a modem capitalist lifestyle.
